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Bandor was right; I really am as stupid as he said I was. God, what a fucked up life I've led!"I saw the hopeless, dead look in Elizabeth's eyes. I saw the sorrow, the regret, the resigned look that everything she held dear in her life was gone. I saw the almost panicked look in Amy and Cindi's eyes as they stared at me, waiting to see what I would do. It was enough."Please, Daddy? Please?" Cindi begged."She apologized. She's sorry. Make up to her, please?" Amy whispered in my ear.I was shocked that she would offer what she did. I knew how important these two days were to her. I could never, would never ask her to give that up.All I ever wanted was to talk to her about all of this. All I ever wanted to hear was that she was sorry. I just wanted her to admit what she did. I wanted her to realize what she had done to me and to our girls. She had admitted her error and offered in recompense the thing she valued most in the world. It told me she was serious. It was enough."Please, just. She looked up at me, her hands slipping away from her temples and rested upon my thigh. Why cant it just be a bad dream? She asked, quite pathetically. I placed a hand on her forehead and slid it over her hair. My dear, none of us are truly awake. We are caught in a net of sleep and dreams, which we have unconsciously woven ourselves into. — Lolita kept to herself for the days following. Most days she sat in her room, staring out the large window, over the forest below. The drugs that had been administered to her daily, as part of her psychotherapy did nothing but push her in and out of consciousness. The doctor continued his perverted attempts at curing her, but nothing worked. Nothing silenced the music that quietly played on loop at the base of her skull. When she could will herself out of her room, she made her way to the library, where she engrossed herself in literature. There was something ironic and yet comforting about getting lost in the works of Emily Dickinson, Bret.
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